Happy New Year! I spent most of the first day of this year watching football. The Bucs won and are first in their division. Speaking of football, last night, we saw a player get hurt so badly that they had to bring in an ambulance. That was scary. Football is such a violent sport. As much as I enjoy it at times, I still think about how much violence goes on in the game.
I did some Java exercises today. One of the hardest things to do is figure out how to do math problems in coding. I get confused by them. I’m slowly understanding what I need to do.
Oh, I forgot I have laundry to put away. I don’t mind putting away laundry. I just hate that I leave it to the end of the day.
Ok, the laundry is done. It’s snowing outside. I do hope it doesn’t get too bad. I like snow, but Lexi has a doctor’s appointment tomorrow that I don’t want her to miss. She needs her medication, and the lady who used to fill her medication isn’t working anymore. So she needs a doctor’s appointment for her prescription to be refilled. It was the same thing I had to go through for my medication. It should have occurred to me that she would have to go through the same thing. I don’t particularly appreciate that I hadn’t thought of that sooner, even if she was in Portales.
I’m so on edge right now. I don’t know why. There is no reason to be, and I can’t even think of a reason to be. But I feel on edge. Maybe I will walk around the house and see if everyone is good. Sometimes I think I will be on edge if I haven’t gone around and seen if everyone is good and doesn’t need anything. It’s always in the late afternoon that I feel like this. I need to relax. I walked around the house, and everyone was good; there were pellets in the stove, and water had been brought in. Maybe some hot tea will help me. My old therapist talked about talking to your anxiety as if it were a person. So when my thoughts are spiraling out of control, and I’m getting overwhelmed, I should say something like, “You’re being really unhelpful.” I guess that does help a little. Sometimes. I sometimes relate anxious thoughts to a kid who keeps interrupting me. I can acknowledge them and tell them I’m busy with something else right now and return to what I’m doing. But this doesn’t always help or work. Maybe I need to stop obsessing over being anxious. Maybe I’m giving it too much attention.
