I checked my digital calendar and it seems that I don’t have a therapy appointment scheduled for this week, but I do have one for next week. Ever get the sense that they might not want to talk to you? Haha! In all honesty, it seems like their schedule is just quite full, especially with all the new intakes. Those gaps between sessions can feel a bit strange, even when I’m doing well. I think it’s been about three weeks now.
Since I was taken off my blood pressure medication, I’ve been experiencing various forms of anxiety, even though my numbers are within the normal range. I relied on the medication, and while I now recognize that I don’t need it, a part of me still feels as though I do. Even with normal readings, the mere thought of being off the meds leaves my mind questioning, “Are we sure we’re okay?” It’s as if my body has adapted just fine, but my mind hasn’t received the memo. One day, I’m managing well with medication, and the next, it feels like my circulatory system and I are flying solo.
My anxiety manifests as itchy sensations and shortness of breath. When I check my blood pressure, it remains within the normal range. The itchiness subsides for a while but returns when my anxiety increases. I prefer not to scratch, as it’s not beneficial for my skin. I’m going to take my anxiety medication now to see if it provides some relief.
It’s lunchtime, and I’m contemplating some grapes and a sandwich. I’m feeling hungry but uncertain about what to eat; a sandwich seems like a simple option.
I haven’t done much writing today, as I’ve been focused on coding and reading about reverse linked lists for the function I’m currently working on. I still haven’t quite figured out the code; I keep encountering errors and snippets that just don’t work. The itchy sensations I experienced earlier are lessening. I still feel a bit defeated over coding. Nevertheless, I believe I can tackle this challenge.
Later, I need to put away some laundry. I’ve made myself a cup of hot tea, which I hope will help ease my anxiety.
On a positive note, Alexis is graduating Summa Cum Laude, meaning ‘with highest honors’, and I’m so proud of her. It’s hard to believe both she and Karissa will be graduating in just a few weeks. Karissa will start university in the fall, and Alexis will be home afterward, although I’m not sure what her plans are yet.
It’s nearly 5 o’clock now. I’m going to take a moment to put away the clothes and unwind. I might also prepare Tommy’s lunch for tomorrow to avoid having to do it later.
