justCat

My stomach was so crampy yesterday. I’m not sure what I did to it. It almost feels like light food poisoning but I know I haven’t eaten anything that would have caused it. Today it’s feeling a bit better. I’ve eaten toast today. That’s how much I’ve been babying my stomach. This weekend we are…

I started a new therapist. My anxiety is high over this. I had an appointment today, virtual appointment. It was alright. Although I didn’t feel like talking about my past too much. It’s a good thing he has notes and asked me general questions about them to help. I know I have a lot of…

JavaScript has me confused. I have to spend more time reading up on certain things since the program only gives one example per “section.” I just remembered that I have a few friends that I still need to text back. The introvert in me tends to forget that I need to keep in touch with…

JavaScript was a doozy today. The program goes through a new subject of JavaScript…ok, this is hard to explain. The program will explain something, like ‘for loops’, and it will give one example and give you a problem to solve. Then when you are done with that and test the code, if you get it…

I saw a term today: healthy narcissism. What the hell is that? Are people trying to make this a thing? It’s not a thing. A healthy ego and high self-confidence, and self-regard are not narcissism. If one is not exploiting another, then it is not narcissism. Narcissism is an obsession with the self and an…

I just filed my nails. I haven’t done so in so long. Usually, I just cut them all off, but I decided to take care of my nails for once and make them look pretty. They are still short cause long nails break. And typing with long nails is a pain. I have nail polish;…

As a people pleaser, I wonder if this is a form of manipulation. It occurred to me that maybe I was being as manipulative since my desire to please isn’t always from a desire to please but to protect myself. Is that, at its core, selfish and ultimately manipulative? Since I’m trying to change an…

JavaScript was a doozy today. I’m still trying to understand what I learned today. So I have my notes. My brain is kind of fried at the moment. I don’t even think I actually learned the subjects today. parseInt() and conditional operators are confusing. My car won’t be ready till tomorrow. They ordered the wrong…

I feel like cleaning. Organizing. I’m coding at the moment and it is a bit challenging. Probably why I feel like cleaning. It’s a procrastination tactic that my brain wants to do to keep it from doing the challenging thing. My desk needs to be organized. It does. I want to clean out my stuff…

Sometimes I just don’t understand my head. I do everything to make sure my mental state is good, but sometimes my mental state can still be unstable. I’ve been anxious all day. I don’t know why. I’m watching a YouTube video on painting to calm my nerves. One day I may take up painting. Maybe….