justCat

I started a new therapist. My anxiety is high over this. I had an appointment today, virtual appointment. It was alright. Although I didn’t feel like talking about my past too much. It’s a good thing he has notes and asked me general questions about them to help. I know I have a lot of…

JavaScript has me confused. I have to spend more time reading up on certain things since the program only gives one example per “section.” I just remembered that I have a few friends that I still need to text back. The introvert in me tends to forget that I need to keep in touch with…

JavaScript was a doozy today. The program goes through a new subject of JavaScript…ok, this is hard to explain. The program will explain something, like ‘for loops’, and it will give one example and give you a problem to solve. Then when you are done with that and test the code, if you get it…

I saw a term today: healthy narcissism. What the hell is that? Are people trying to make this a thing? It’s not a thing. A healthy ego and high self-confidence, and self-regard are not narcissism. If one is not exploiting another, then it is not narcissism. Narcissism is an obsession with the self and an…

I just filed my nails. I haven’t done so in so long. Usually, I just cut them all off, but I decided to take care of my nails for once and make them look pretty. They are still short cause long nails break. And typing with long nails is a pain. I have nail polish;…

As a people pleaser, I wonder if this is a form of manipulation. It occurred to me that maybe I was being as manipulative since my desire to please isn’t always from a desire to please but to protect myself. Is that, at its core, selfish and ultimately manipulative? Since I’m trying to change an…

JavaScript was a doozy today. I’m still trying to understand what I learned today. So I have my notes. My brain is kind of fried at the moment. I don’t even think I actually learned the subjects today. parseInt() and conditional operators are confusing. My car won’t be ready till tomorrow. They ordered the wrong…

I feel like cleaning. Organizing. I’m coding at the moment and it is a bit challenging. Probably why I feel like cleaning. It’s a procrastination tactic that my brain wants to do to keep it from doing the challenging thing. My desk needs to be organized. It does. I want to clean out my stuff…

Sometimes I just don’t understand my head. I do everything to make sure my mental state is good, but sometimes my mental state can still be unstable. I’ve been anxious all day. I don’t know why. I’m watching a YouTube video on painting to calm my nerves. One day I may take up painting. Maybe….

It’s June! My birthday month! It’s Tommy’s birthday month too. His birthday is before mine. Tommy and I are heading up to see Alexis tonight. She needs food, so we are taking her to Walmart to get her what she needs. We were going to go Friday night, but Tommy got sick. Then we were…